Revenge of the Scarey Horror Movie

I had a really bad day today. I don't know why exactly. I woke up this morning in a funk. Have you ever just had one of those days? From the very moment your feet hit the floor, you are in a bad mood. We joke and say, "Wow! You sure did get up on the wrong side of the bed!" It's true though. Sometimes we are just in a bad mood from the time we wake up. Today was my day.
I struggled all day to get a hold of my emotions. I kept thinking, if I just had some quiet time, some alone time, some ME time, then I would be ok. I kept grasping at every moment I could get of solitude. Those moments are few and far between when you are a mother of 5. Don't get me wrong, I adore my children! I can't imagine life without them. They are true blessings. Today however, the focus somehow became all about me. I realized in the middle of screaming at one of my children that this somehow resembled a horror movie. I can't remember what movie it was but I'm sure I've seen it. Someone gets bitten by a spider, monster, or something gross. Before that person even realizes what is happening, they are clawing at there own skin. They are literally destroying themselves.
Isn't that what it is like when we grasp, claw, and fight for ourselves. The infection of self-centeredness rips and tears at the very person we are. It doesn't help us or heal us. It frustrates us and begins to change us into something monstrous. We will never get enough time, money, or things for ourselves if self is what we are focused on. All of our grasping and striving leaves us unfulfilled and broken. What a mess!
Lord, help me to remember that when I focus on You, You'll take care of me. 2 Samuel 22:33 tells me that "You are my strength and power, and You make my way perfect." If I turn my focus on you, then Your Spirit rises up within me. It begins to grow and bloom. It warms my whole being from the inside out. It is contagious in a good way. It spills onto others and helps to warm them too. That's what I want!
Life lesson learned. I'm sure that selfishness will spring up again at some point like a bad sequel. Hopefully this time I will recognize it for the disease it is. Then I can run to my Daddy and get a vaccination before it infects me! What about you? Need some help with life? God wants to help you. Just one good dose of His love and you'll be hooked!