God is Love

Hello friends and family!

Just realized that I haven't posted any real updates in a long time.  Things had just gotten so crazy around here that I went into survival mode.  That usually means that I block everything out except making it through the day.  So, let me give you a quick update.  Nathaniel finally had his stitches and catheter out.  long story short, things did not go so well.  He was back in the hospital twice and finally had to have another catheter put in.  However, the Lord is always faithful!  Nathaniel has been able to go potty on his own for about 3 weeks now.  He is catheter free, doing great, and we don't have to go back to the urologist until August!  Like I just said, God is ALWAYS faithful!

Now for a very quick update on Kaitlyn.  She is doing really good now.  After taking her to the emergency room in Lubbock, we were finally able to find out what was going on.  The doctor there felt pretty confident that she had a ruptured ovarian cyst.  She was still pretty sore for a few days, but by the next week she was fine.  So thankful we got some answers.

Finally, I wanted to share something with you that the Lord spoke to me last week.  Hopefully, it will encourage you and bless you.  Like I was saying earlier in this post, when I am really stressed I go into survival mode.  Other things usually get pushed to the side while I just focus on the main crisis at hand.  I know I need to work at not doing that but it is something I still struggle with.  Anyway, the Lord of course knows how my brain works and He normally waits until a crisis is over before He talks to me about it.  So, last week I had put Nathaniel down for a very much needed nap.  I normally lay down with him and then get up when he falls asleep.  I was just about to get up and finish some chores around the house, when I noticed how peaceful he looked.  Sometimes I just love to watch him sleep.  I just sat there a moment completely caught up in his sweet little face.  I just started thanking the Lord that Nathaniel was finally home and healthy.  Then the memory of the past few months flooded over me again.  I was back at the hospital walking through the doors of the recovery room.  I could hear his screams for his mama.  I'm walking as fast as I can to his bed.  The nurses don't need to tell me which bed he is in.  I know my child's cries and he is being really loud.  I crawl in the bed with him, hold him, and start to sing.  He looks up at me with those beautiful blue-green eyes and says, "Mama, I love you!"  In that moment, there is nothing I wouldn't do for this kid. Nothing!

I was talking to the Lord about this and telling Him that I was desperate for Him the way Nathaniel was for me.  I was telling Him that I loved Him and needed Him.  He spoke to me and said, "Marcia, don't you know I love you as much as you love Nathaniel?  Except multiply that times a million.  And when you look at me with those beautiful blue eyes so full of love and desperation, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you."  Let me just say that I was a weeping blubbering mess!  The Lord took all the love I was trying to pour out on Him and dumped it on me.

Do you get what I am trying to say?  Do you understand that the love you have for your closest friend, parents, grandparents, husband, wife, children, or whoever it is that totally gets you, can't even compare to the love God has for you?  I really believe that most Christians have no difficulty admitting their love and even desperation for the Lord.  It is easy for us to see our faults and flaws and admit that we don't deserve to be loved by God.  Every single day, we face people who constantly point out our flaws.  We hear; your too thin, too fat, too tall, too short, not smart enough, a know it all, too mean, too nice, and the list goes on.  With all the labels and all the reminders of what we are and what we aren't, it is so easy to reject God's love when He tries to give it to us.  But when we start to understand how God really feels about us then it is easy for us to pour love into other peoples lives.  So, in case you haven't heard it today, let me be the first to tell you.  You are BEAUTIFUL!  You are a creation of the most high God.  Your life has value!  You are loved!  You are loved!  Now let Him whisper to your heart how much He loves you!  And this time, when He says it, believe it. :)